Channeling Neville Longbottom

When we first started this blog, I had visions of executing recipes with ease like Hermione cleverly mastering a new charm. UM, yeah. Not so much. After this weekend, I've demoted myself to Neville in potions class. (Yeah, yeah. If brains were gold, I'd be poorer than Weasley. WE GET IT, MALFOY.)

I decided to tackle two kinds of butterbeer - a traditional Tudor version, and the chilled (not frozen) version served at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (WWoHP). Neither turned out well.

Traditional Tudor Buttered Beere

Before it was the drink du jour of angsty teenage wizards flirting at the Three Broomsticks, butterbeer was "Buttered Beere." Never one to play coy, the Brits pretty much gave it away in the name - beer with butter (plus sugar and spice and everything nice.) I modified this recipe for one can of beer since I didn't want to make a big batch.

Cast of Characters

 1 can (440mL) British ale

2 egg yolks

1/2 cup brown sugar

2.5 tbsp butter, diced

Pinch of nutmeg, ground cloves, and ground ginger

Separate the yolks from the whites into a medium bowl. Pour in sugar and beat until light and creamy. Set aside.

This is a crappy pic. I need to learn food photography.

"Old Speckled Hen" sounds like something a homeless bum might swig out of a paper bag, but Jody assured me it's a tasty classic British ale. Pour the ale into a saucepan and gently bring to a boil. (It boils quickly so watch the pan closely.)

 

When it's boiling, toss in a pinch each of ground cloves, ground ginger, and nutmeg. Whisk briskly. Turn down heat and let simmer for a few minutes. (Don't simmer too long or risk burning off the alcohol. 2 minutes is good enough.)

IMPORTANT: temper the egg mixture with the beer mixture, then pour the tempered egg mixture into the saucepan.  Otherwise, you'll end up with scrambled eggs in your beer. GROSS. Whisk briskly. Simmer for 3 more minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in butter until it melts. Pour into a mug and convince a test subject to drink it.

 

THE VERDICT: A tad too spicy and definitely not enough sweetness. Smaller, more judicious pinches next time and more sugar. I used 1/3 cup but I modified the recipe above to include 1/2 cup sugar. I might even try to substitute butterscotch sauce for the sugar next time.

You could also mix the butterbeer with equal parts cream and milk after it cooled, but I was so dissatisfied with how the overall butterbeer turned out that I didn't even bother. Next time.

Chilled Butterbeer from WWoHP

This basically involved stirring butterscotch into cream soda. Instead of buying butterscotch, I wanted to make it from scratch. I followed this recipe from The Washington Post.

Cast of Characters - ignore the vinegar. I changed recipes after taking this photo.

4 tbsp unsalted butter

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tbsp vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

Melt butter into a saucepan over medium heat. Add sugar, salt, and cream. Whisk, whisk, whisk. Bring to gentle boil and cook for 5 minutes. Stir here. Stir there. No need to stir everywhere.

Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Ladle some (about 1") into the bottom of a mug. Pour in a bottle of cold cream soda. Stir and drink.

 

THE VERDICT: Sweet but not overly so. About what I would expect butterbeer to taste like (never actually having tasted it before. Yet. Soon.)  BUT OMFG THE FOAM IS REVOLTING. It's like the butter separated from the butterscotch and weirdly reacted with the cream soda to give a gross texture kind of like...foaming bogeys. Like an aerated form of how Crabbe and Goyle would taste in Polyjuice form. DISGUSTING.

Maybe I should have let the butterscotch cool?  Maybe I used too much butter in the butterscotch?  Maybe Smuckers makes better butterscotch sauce than I do and I should fork over the $4.29 to buy it at the Giant? Whatever the reason, this foam issue needs to be resolved. 

Meanwhile, I need to channel the Half-Blood Prince more than Neville Longbottom. Quick, someone find me a used potions book in the back cupboard!